Why Networking in China Feels So Hard - and what expats can do about it

“Networking is the same everywhere.” Ever heard that one? I encounter this common expat myth often. My clients or other foreigners in China I meet truly believe that when they arrive in their new destination, they can confidently use the networking techniques and strategies that have stood them in good stead in their home culture. The result of this overconfidence: they feel stuck, isolated, or overlooked in China, as what they have always known turns out not to be applicable like they thought. Many of the events they attend feel overly formal or disconnected. When they try following up with prospects, it goes nowhere. And their local contacts seem hard to maintain.

If this is you, read on. This article breaks down why this is many an expat’s experience and shows you how to approach networking the Chinese way. First, we will have a look at the reason why networking in China feels so different and shed light on some of the common mistakes expats in the Middle Kingdom make when trying to network. We will also look at what works instead, and why the locals use these slightly different techniques. So that you can fast-track building your network in China, too.

The invisible rule-book: Western networking vs. Chinese guanxi

Many Westerners will network a certain way. They see networking as a fast, transactional, and focused surface-level rapport. What is important is getting connected (on LinkedIn or in person at a networking event), followed by a quick message via email or direct message. To then get to the sale. Some will even go so far as to include their elevator pitch in their self-introduction, selling in the very first interaction with a new contact.

Things could not be more different in the way that guanxi work. The Chinese word 关系 (pinyin: guān xì) literally means connection. But guanxi are so much more than contacts. The concept of guanxi rules life in China. From the door attendant to the CEO, everyone uses guanxi, both in business and in their private lives. And because the idea that connections are important is so ingrained, networking is done differently as a result

Every time two Chinese people meet, they will go down a mental check-list: Which town are you from? Which province? Where is your 老家 (lǎo jiā, literally “old home”, the place your paternal grandparents lived)? What is your alma mater? Which companies have you worked at? Where do you live now? Which school does your kid go to?... the list can be quite long. And those two people will keep going down that list until they find at least one point in common, then expand on that point. That could be reminiscing on childhood memories in the same town, and finding other common acquaintances. The more commonalities they uncover, the easier it is for them to build strong guanxi.

Most Chinese will try a variation of this practice when meeting a foreigner. The questions differ a bit, and finding the commonalities can often be a bit trickier. An example: To the question “Which country are you from?”, a whole range of reactions is possible - “Oh, I’ve visited there.” or “Interesting! My cousin’s daughter went to school there.” or “I love the cuisine from your home country.” The goal is the same as when meeting a fellow Chinese. The networker is trying to make their counterpart feel at ease, and find something positive that both can bond over.

Finding commonalities generates trust, which is foundational for good networking. And it gives you clues as to how you can be of value to your new connection (such as by introducing them to another person that shares even more of their background).

The result of the guanxi mindset is that in Chinese networking, personal introductions will always matter more than cold reach-outs. And the ability to share space socially (through meals or activities) is more important than the business card.

If you treat networking as a purely transactional activity or try to take a shortcut by cutting out finding out more about the other person, this can backfire. And another mistake I see Westerners make is wanting to “cash in” on connections after a very short time. Expect to build relationships over weeks and months with multiple touchpoints before broaching sales or requesting an introduction to somebody else.

Mistakes many expats make when trying to connect

The most common mistakes I see expats make are relying only on expat circles, not following up or doing it wrong, and going to events without a purpose.

Mistake #1: Only networking within the expat bubble

It is true that moving to China is hard enough, and staying mostly among other expats there can thus feel comfortable. But by limiting your networking to the expat bubble, you leave out extremely valuable connections.

Connecting with Chinese gives you the opportunity for broader insights, understanding otherwise baffling cultural differences, and deepen your integration in the country. All of which are infinitely harder with an all-foreign social circle.

Depending on where in China you are located, language barriers can make it feel impossible to connect with locals. But even in tier 2 or tier 3 cities, there are always Chinese eager to improve their English speaking skills or those who have returned from life abroad and who crave a more international social circle. They make great starting points for building a local network.

Mistake #2: Ignoring the importance of introductions and follow-ups

A second mistake I see time and again is being too direct when having identified good prospects at a networking event. China is not a direct culture, so being introduced by a friend or acquaintance is much better than waltzing up to a person directly.

And, even more important than being introduced, is following up with the people you met at the networking event. There are some tried-and-true templates that I use for following up with people. Those templates and much more are part of what I teach in the masterclass Build your China network like a local. The next session is on June 25th, 2025 at 9AM China Standard Time (6PM Pacific Daylight Time, 9PM Eastern Standard Time).

Continually following up and reconnecting periodically will let the relationship grow. So that, over time, people will naturally think of you when they meet someone who would be a useful connection. And they will start pitching you and your work to likely prospects.

Mistake #3: Not setting strategic goals for events they attend

Another big mistake I see expats make in networking in China is that they are not strategic when attending events. They either wait to be invited instead of being proactive, or they believe that just attending networking events is enough.

Instead, you should see your attendance at networking events as the first step in your successful networking journey. Here are some tips to get the most out of them:

If there is an event you think could be beneficial for you to attend, find out who else in your circle of acquaintances is attending. If others you know are also going, your chances of being introduced to new connections at the event go up exponentially. And those “warm” introductions, as we have seen previously, are much more valuable than “cold” reach-outs to complete strangers.

Set your own personal goal for who you would like to meet there. Are you trying to find a job? Then finding people in your industry of choice or those who work in recruitment would be useful to meet. Do you run your own business? Then stay on the lookout for ideal clients and “super connectors” who can introduce you to others. Trying to build up your social circle? Your aim is to find others who share your interests and hobbies, or who can introduce you to a new pastime you may never have thought of.

Another tip is to prepare your own mental checklist to network “China style”. Try to find commonalities with the people you meet to forge deeper connections right off the bat.

Also, take notes after each conversation (I like to duck into the bathroom and then either write on the business cards I’ve received, or else type a few keywords in my phone notes app) to make your job easier when you follow up.

And lastly, I would suggest quality over quantity. It is better to have three to five in-depth conversations with people you find interesting and who will be a good fit for the goal you have set yourself rather than collecting 20 business cards with hardly a sentence exchanged over them. Because how can you know whether following up with those 20 people is even worth your time if you haven’t checked them for fit with that initial conversation?]

The Fast Track to Building Your Network

If all of this seems complicated, long, and tedious to you, you may want to come to my masterclass Build your China network like a local. The next live online session is on June 25th, 2025 at 9AM China Standard Time (6PM Pacific Daylight Time, 9PM Eastern Standard Time)

What actually works (and why locals do it this way)

When networking (and working) in China, one needs to understand the way that social and professional life blend here. There is no strict division between work and home life and the way you build connections reflects that. So, in both your professional and your social interactions, treat every conversation as an opportunity to network. How?

Start with curiosity, not confidence. Try to ask questions (especially ones that compliment your counterpart, their company, or China as a whole) and listen attentively. Learn to understand the underlying context of a situation before you try “selling” yourself.

But Chinese will not stop at asking questions, no matter how flattering. They will show up with value every single time. They offer help solving a problem. They’ll introduce you to a helpful connections. They’ll share insights. All before asking for any favors from you. To be successful, do the same.

And locals - at least the ones who are good networkers - will be consistent in their interactions. They understand that a single lunch does not build guanxi. Instead, they will engage in regular, low-pressure interactions that build a deeper connection slowly, over time.

And another tip is to use online platforms, especially WeChat, to foster connection. WeChat is not just any old messaging app. It is where your network lives, breathes, and grows more robust. Ways to leverage WeChat are sending voice notes, sharing interesting articles, or setting up informal group chats. All of these can be tools to deepen relationships.

The Fast Track to Building Your Network

If all of this seems complicated, long, and tedious to you, you may want to come to my masterclass Build your China network like a local. The next live online session is on June 25th, 2025 at 9AM China Standard Time (6PM Pacific Daylight Time, 9PM Eastern Standard Time)

In this masterclass (usually priced at CNY 388 / USD 54), I teach the 3 secrets to building your China network even if you don’t speak Chinese (well), have just arrived and don’t know anyone, or feel completely out of place.

I teach a simple strategy rooted in guanxi that can make you feel at home and connected in China faster than any app or event, so that everything else will fall into place.

It really pays to learn how to network the “China way”.